Here we go Again
by OperationWorkingVacation
Summary: After being bullied and mistreated for so long, Jake Puckerman wants to end the suffering, but Ryder Lynn can change that, can change how he feels with a simple Kiss. That kiss ruined everything. Rated M just to be safe, for future chapters Warning: AU! Suicidal!Jake
1. Prologue

Here we go Again

_So as I said, here's the story! Read and Review! Hopefully Favorite or follow! _

_I Do not own Glee, Characters and such are owned by Ryan Murphy!_

_Happy reading_

_Trigger: Suicidal!Jake._

_~Cat_

He could lie and say it never happened, yeah, because it didn't, nothing would make him tell anyone that he kissed Ryder, and liked it.

Jake sat in detention, sneaking glances at Ryder, who was at the front, he was looking back at Jake, a soft smile on his handsome face.

Looking back, he guessed that what he did was right, kissing Ryder was the best thing that ever happened to him.

But there was a catch, indeed, it was Marley Rose, the girl that Jake was dating, the girl that Jake was supposed to be in love with, but hey, he never said true love is real.

So Jake did what he always did, he pushed back his emotions, locked them away, threw away the key, and just locked himself out of the hurt and pain, it was easy, and he could do it with a smile. He looked to the side, some boys were looking at him, snickering, he could pretty much see the thoughts they were making

"_Freakshow"_

"_Faggot"_

"_Disappointment"_

"_Biracial Dick"_

It hurt, it hurt to the point in which he would cry himself to sleep every night, aching, and dreaming for someone to just fucking _love_ him, someone who would care about him in every way without restrictions, without fear, without pain, without a fucking problem.

Jake had convinced himself as an Unworthy person for love and attention, dammit he didn't _need _it, he didn't want it, but at the same time he wanted someone to just love him.

Ryder wasn't that person.

Everyone made that super clear, so why not just end it?

It'd make him feel better.

To just grab a knife and end all the pain and fucking suffering. He just didn't think he would do it so soon

_Today, Jacob Puckerman will end it all, because it deserves to be ended._

_**How did you like it? Personally I'm very proud of it c:, Read and review, Maybe even a Follow? **____** Thanks for reading!**_

_**~Cat**_


	2. Honor the fact that he was still alive

**Here you go! the FIRST OFFICIAL CHAPTER -Party Cannon-**

**Sorry for it being so short! Please enjoy**

**~Cat**

"Jake, get your ass up and get ready for school!"

Another day in hell, goodie.

Jake rubbed his eyes, not wanting to leave the comfort of his bed, why should he have to get up? No one would care if he didn't.

He sighed, standing up from the soft bed, his hand running through his short hair.

_What am I doing with life..? _

**That question really got to him.**

**But he doesn't let anyone know that.**

**~School~**

He hate life…No really, this time He's serious, He officially just hates his own life, He has a crush on a fucking guy, no, His best fucking friend, Everyone hates His… life just sucks.

Jake walked down the hallway, eyes all on him, whispering those stupid fucking names, he knew those fucked up people hated him, it didn't take a fucking genius to know it. He continued his walk, walking past girls and boys fucking around the corner, naked, skin touching skin, it made him realize just how fucked up this school was, how nasty people could be.

After reaching the choir room, He collapsed on the chair and sighed, Life was being another bitch, another stinking pile of shit. Jake looked up, Brittany, Ryder, Puck…What were they doing there?

"Little Bro, We need to talk" Puck was the first to speak, taking a seat beside him.

"Yeah…Your not a happy dolphin" Brittany took a seat to his right.

Ryder was the only one who didn't talk

**It hurt a lot.**

**But he wouldn't tell anyone**

"I'm Fine!" Jake smiled.

Play it cool jake, you can do it, just play it off as if your fine.

_Even if your not._

Puck was looking at him as if he were insane, Jake could tell, because Puck's eyes were looking straight into his.

"I Swear to fucking god I'm not upset! Just leave me alone! All of you!" Jake snapped, he stood up and kicked his chair to the side, tears erupting from his eyes as he walked out, only stopping at the door.

"Stay out of my life, all of you, I don't need you"

Jake left that day

And he didn't come back until the next day. But that's for another chapter

Until then, Just honor the fact that he was still alive.

**So? New chapter is up! Please Review and Read! See you this Friday! **

**~Cat**


	3. I'm sorry Guys!

Hey Guys! So it's Cat! Bad news: I Can't update tonight! :c I NEED SOME INSPIRATION!

So if your reading this and you re-read the last chapter, if you have an Idea for this PLEASE PM Or Review with it.

And also, it's that time of yeaarrr! Merry Christmas everybody! So there's also if someone would like to write this with me, please PM!

I Have the biggest Christmas surprise for all of you lovely reviewers c:, what you can give me is One Direction or Dan from DanIsNotOnFire (JoeyGraceffa would work too ;)))

Again:

1) If you wanna help me write this story (Colab as you would call it) PM

2) If you have any Ideas for the new chapter please PM Or Review

3)Contest For collaboration ! So Fill this out right now and PM Me with it! I'll randomly choose tonight with a hat and paper so please fill out wisely!

CONTEST ~~~~_~~~~_

Your Name:

Your Age –Optional-:

Reason for wanting to Colab:

What do you like about the story?:

What more could you bring to the story?

Any Pet Peeves or Things you just can't take writing?:

Do you hate Jyder or Love it? If hate then please escort yourself to the torturing chamber:

Thank you!:

Thanks so much guys! This will really mean a lot to me c:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

~Cat


	4. Merry Christmas Everyone!

This might not be a chapter, but it's a present!

So thanks to the review I have received from a User (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE c:) I really liked your idea and i'm going to use it!

So here's why i'm telling you.

I was thinking, _Hey! Why not make this a Christmas present?_

So here's your Christmas present from me! The chapter might be up at exactly 12 AM tonight, or 12 PM Tomorrow!

Merry Christmas everybody! Lots of love!

~Cat


	5. Jacob Puckerman will end it all

_I never wanted him to hate me, I never wanted them to hate me._

_Ha! Look where that got me…_

_I'm Jake Puckerman…And I'm Gay. It's weird saying that word because I just hate it, everyone hates you if your gay, that's why everybody hates Lima, the people here are fucking jerks._

He felt himself gulp, everything he wanted to say just leaving his mind and it scared the fuck out of him.

_He didn't like to tell people he was scared._

_It made him look week._

_~~  
_Weeks pass by, months, days, minutes, and he turned worse.

Literally, he was a walking zombie.

Ha, that was kinda funny

_I know no one cares about me, because they make it so obvious._

Jake realized that whenever he walked down the hallway, he was stared at by literally everyone.

Why the fuck do they have to look at him?

"Jake! We need to talk" He heard his, no, Ryder's voice echo around him, it was closing in on him

Shit.

"W-What about?"

"About how your so distant all the time…you're my best friend! We're supposed to be talking a lot and hanging out but I haven't seen you in so long"

"Well I've been busy"

"With what? Jake we really have to talk sometime…"

_I watched My soul mate walk away that day_

_It felt kinda good_

Jake felt the world just lay off of his shoulders when he walked away.

_Oops._

So getting home wasn't helping him, he was still upset, broken, just utterly useless. Jake opened the door to his home and entered quietly, no one was home…Good. He looked around, it was literally trashed, the words 'Faggot' and 'Gay' were spray painted on his bedroom door.

_He snapped that day_

He looked at the words one last time, tears pouring out of his eyes as he walked slowly to the bathroom.

As he thought before:

_Today, Jacob Puckerman will end it all, because it deserves to be ended_

He let out this mangled breath and opened the cabinet window, so many pills to take

_So many ways to die._

He didn't want people to miss him, so he wrote a note.

'_Dear whoever the fuck cares_

_I'm dead, ha, that felt nice to say._

_Barely anyone cares about me either way, so isn't ending it the best choice? Because it's the only thing I'm thinking. Everyone thinks of me as a Faggot, a waste of space._

_I guess their right._

_So if your reading this, look down. Because there I am._

_In hell _

_Bye…_

_~Jacob Puckerman_

_PS.: Don't you dare touch the snicker bars that are in my room, I'm taking them when I'm a demon._

_I'm looking at you Ryder._

_PPS: I'm not in love with ryder, actually I am…_

He laughed quietly at what he wrote and grabbed the Painkillers.

For pain, right? So they can stop the pain in his heart?

Jake dumped the pills slowly onto his left hand, looking at them with weary eyes before shrugging.

"Here we go again…" He mumbled, referring to the last time he tried, his tainted lips curled into a smile until he heard something.

"Jake! Dude! You forgot your backpack at school!"

_It was ryder…_

_Oh fuck.._

He looked down at the pills again before quickly taking them, not wanting to face his crush.

_If your reading this, I'm dead._

_You got your wish_

_**Jacob Puckerman**_

**There! Deeply sorry for not posting! :C but here it is! **

**Ps. Whoever got those terrible feelings of fangirl/fanboy pleasure please go off and PM me so we can go and fangirl/fanboy together!**

**HOPE YOU HAD A HAPPY HOLIDAY**

**~Cat**


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